Drama on Court · Lesson 3

One Clean Sentence

Say it early, while you’re still calm. Cut the cushioning. Then stop talking.

Try it

Cross out the cushioning

The more uncomfortable we are, the more words we use, and every extra word gives the other person a place to negotiate.

Example

What I need to say

1 · The long version

2 · Cross out the cushioning

Tap the pink words. Sorry. Just. Maybe. Probably. “This is probably just me.” Strike every one.

words
places to negotiate

3 · The clean version

Example

4 · Then stop talking

Don’t rush in to soften it because there are three seconds of silence.

Clear is not cruel.

The steps

From the long version to one clean sentence

Start here: something you need that you keep not saying.

  1. Write the long version.

    Go ahead, put in all the cushioning. “I’m so sorry, and I know you’re just trying to help, and this is probably just me, but…”

  2. Cross out the cushioning.

    Sorry. Just. Maybe. Probably. “This is probably just me.” Strike every one.

  3. Write the clean version.

    One sentence. Maybe two, if the first is “I know you’re trying to help.”

  4. Then stop talking.

    Don’t rush in to soften it because there are three seconds of silence. Give her a chance to hear you.

Scripts

Clean sentence library

Coaching

“I know you’re trying to help. I don’t want coaching during the match.”

Taking your balls

“Let’s call it. I’ve got the middle on my forehand.”

Being rushed

“I’m not ready yet.”

Score

“Can we call the score every point?”

Position

“I play better on the deuce side. Can I take it today?”

Your reset

One clean sentence.

Say it to yourself

Clear is not cruel. Say it while you still like yourself.

Know what you need. Give yourself permission. Say it earlier, while you’re still calm enough to sound like yourself.

Take it home

On the drive home

Answer these in your head, or text them to yourself.

  1. Where did I learn that having a need makes me difficult?

  2. What would I like to believe instead?