If it’s interfering
Behavior, boundary, back to tennis.
You don’t need to prove her motive. Address what she’s doing.
Looks like: rushing you, commenting on your game, deliberately distracting you.
Gets one sentence
Drama on Court · Lesson 7
Choose the Battle
Annoying gets nothing. Interfering gets one sentence.
The tool
Annoying, or interfering?
One distinction does most of the work. Make the call on seven moments from the lesson, then on the one who gets under YOUR skin.
Moment 1 of 7
From the lesson
She celebrates my errors.
Annoying, or interfering?
The steps
Make the call. Then play it.
Is this annoying, or is it interfering? Each answer comes with one job.
If it’s annoying
Make her boring.
Stop watching her. Swap personality information for tennis information.
- Where is she standing?
- What’s her weaker side?
- What pattern is working for me?
Looks like: her celebration, her smugness, her personality.
Gets nothing from you
Scripts
When it’s interfering
One sentence. Then back to tennis.
Rushing you
“I’m not ready yet.”
Commenting on your game
“Please don’t comment on my game.”
It continues
“I’ve asked you to stop. Please stop.”
Still continues
“We’re going to get an official.”
Your reset
Make her boring.
Say it to yourself
Play the ball, not the person.
Not every battle deserves my energy.
Choosing not to engage is still a choice. Sometimes restraint is: I’ve assessed you, and you’re not worth the energy.
Remember this
- Attention is currency. Don’t spend it on someone you don’t even like.
- Annoying gets nothing. Interfering gets one sentence.
- Behavior, boundary, back to tennis. You don’t need to prove her motive.
- Make her boring: swap personality information for tennis information.
- Fired up sharpens you. Hijacked makes you stupid.
Take it home
On the drive home
Answer it in your head, or text it to yourself.
-
The opponent who lives rent-free in my head, described only in tennis terms.
Where is she standing? What’s her weaker side? What pattern is working for me?